Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 76)

I have an interesting case. I’ m treating two sets of Siamese twins with split personalities. I’ m getting paid by eight people.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
TV/Movie Quotes

People who work putting shoes on fat women who wear dresses should not have 20/20 vision.

(1946 – ) American actor
Occupations TV/Movie Quotes Work

Ignatowski’s got a father? There goes my spore theory!

(1944 – ) American actor, director & producer
Reviews/Criticism TV/Movie Quotes

Alex Rieger: Jim, when are you finally going to have some pride and stand up for yourself?

Jim: August!

(1938 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

I'll bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at storks.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

[When his girlfriend is leaving him] You can’t go! All the plants are gonna die!

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

Eddie: In this body there is a thin person dying to get out.

Gran: Just the one dear?

(1925 – ) English actress
Appearance Body Fat TV/Movie Quotes

Howard: It was an hour ago, Sheldon. A Jew sits in front of a house in Texas for that long, for sale signs start to go up.

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
Time TV/Movie Quotes

Early to bed and early to rise is the curse of the working class.

(1928 – 2014) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes

I’m half prostate in the heat.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

I’m 50 years of old.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Age Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

I don’t know why I ever come in here. Flies get the best of everything!

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
TV/Movie Quotes

Just sit through this NRA meeting Marge, and if you still don't think guns are great then we'll argue some more.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes

Waitress: And another thing, don’t be so free with your hands.
Fields: Listen honey. I was only trying to guess your weight.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
TV/Movie Quotes

Morticia: You have gone too far. You have married Fester. You have destroyed his spirit. You have taken him from us. All that I could forgive. But, Debbie…
Debbie: What?
Morticia: Pastels?

(1951 – ) American actress & director
TV/Movie Quotes

Am I jumping the gun Baldrick, or are the words ‘I have a cunning plan’ marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?

(1955 – ) English actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Do you think that suppository is gonna be safe from me there, Edith?

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Health Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

What in the Wide, Wide World of Sports’s is a-goin’ on here?! I hired you boys to lay a little track… not to dance around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots!

(1919 – 1983) American rodeo performer & actor
TV/Movie Quotes

Diane: This is Heather Landon, my oldest friend.

Carla: Meet her this morning?

(1948 – ) American actress
TV/Movie Quotes

I don’t think he’s gonna come Edith. He just ain’t got none of that, waddya call, family unconscious.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Even communism works… in theory.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes