Subject: Work (Page 16)

The accessibility, during recovery of small parts which fall from the work bench, varies directly with the size of the part and inversely with its importance to the completion of the work underway.

Murphy’s Laws Things Work

Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing

Easiest job in the world of course, Australian psychiatrist, “Gday Gday… how you doing… no worries next.”

(1964 – ) English comedian
Occupations Places Work

A censor has the peculiar faculty of banning just what we want to hear, see,

Occupations Work

Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.

(1970 – ) American comedian & television game show host
Occupations Things Work

Anyone having supervisory responsibility for the completion of a task will invariably protest that more resources are needed.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Good Old Days: A block of time which ended a week before you were hired.

Definitions Past Time Work

Dentist: A collector of old magazines.

Definitions Occupations

An executive will always return to work from lunch early if no one takes him.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Work

1. Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.
2. Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
3. If at first you don't succeed, try something else.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

History repeats itself; historians repeat one another.

(1887 – 1915) English poet
History Occupations Time

All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Money TV/Movie Quotes Work

No real English gentleman, in his secret soul, was ever sorry for the death of a political economist.

(1826 – 1877) English economist & journalist
Occupations Work

Living up to ideals is like doing everyday work with your Sunday clothes on.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Appearance Clothing Life Work

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix’ that's why he's never worked.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Husbands Marriage Work

Union: A dues-paying club workers wield to strike management.

Definitions Work

If a man smiles all the time he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Time Work

Executive: A person who can take two hours for lunch without anybody missing him.

Definitions Occupations

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
America Government Intelligence Occupations Places Work

Here's a thought for sweat shop owners: air conditioning… problem solved.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Situations Work

Dentist: man who lives from hand to mouth.

Definitions Occupations