Author: Anonymous Page 103

I haven’t seen him for donkey’s ears!

Malaprops

“The situation is grave,” Tom said cryptically.

Tom Swifties

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

Murphy’s Laws

“I’d like to be a Chinese laborer,” said Tom coolly.

Tom Swifties

Dictator: A self-madman.

Definitions

Hey, watch this!

Death Definitions Last words

We need to sit down and walk through some things.

Mixed metaphors

Applause before a speaker begins his talk is an act of faith; applause during the speech is an act of hope; applause after he has concluded is an act of charity.

Communication Speech

Vuja de: The feeling you've never been here.

Definitions

Everybody and his dog was there.

Expressions People

“I’m very popular with women”, said Don wanly.

Tom Swifties

Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do… but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.

Husbands Marriage Wives

Hell hath no fury like a wet cat.

Mixed metaphors

Quit spitting on the handle and get to hoeing.

Expressions Work

Winter: The time of year when it gets later earlier.

Definitions Science/Weather

Atomic Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Definitions

Houseplants: Vegetable companions.

Definitions

Free Verse: Verse written without rhyme or reason.

Definitions Reading/Writing

Virtue: Lack of opportunity.

Characteristics Definitions

Take the ball by the horns and run with it.

Mixed metaphors

I'm not the kind of person who wears his heart up his sleeve.

Malaprops