Author: Anonymous Page 115

You’d be a overweight neurotic fighter too if your name was Shirley Crabtree.

Sports

College: A fountain of knowledge where students gather to drink.

Definitions Education School

“This looks like the fruit of the blackthorn,” said Tom slowly.

Tom Swifties

Disrespect: Giving someone half of the peace sign without suggesting they’re number one.

Definitions

Automobile: A payment plan on wheels.

Autos Definitions Things

He is so ugly… when he throws a boomerang it won’t come back.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Chaperoning: A spectator spoil-sport.

Definitions

Communist: One who has yearnings for equal division of unequal earnings.

Definitions

Never wave to a friend at an auction.

Situations

e-mail: An advertising medium which is misused for personal messaging.

Communication Definitions

Toast: The only thing that can be eaten or drunk.

Definitions

Dark Ages: Knight time.

Definitions

Taxidermist: A man who mounts animals.

Animals Definitions Occupations

We certainly don't want to rock the apple cart.

Mixed metaphors

“The food here is terrible,” he muttered, swallowing his words.

Tom Swifties

“I love hot dogs,” said Tom with relish.

Tom Swifties

“I wish I had something to write with,” Tom said pensively.

Tom Swifties

That man is a real charmer, a regular Don Coyote.

Malaprops People

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it.

Animals Definitions Food/Drink

Accident: A thing that is caused by people, but often causes people.

Accidents Definitions Problems

The scripts needs to be kept in sink.

Malaprops