Author: Anonymous Page 115

“I didn’t do well in the test,” Tom said degradedly.

Tom Swifties

“There must be a power cut,” said Tom delightedly.

Tom Swifties

Tact: The art of knowing how far one may go too far.

Communication Definitions

He is so fat… his driver's license says, “picture continued on other side.”

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Definitions

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs; I think of them as stray eyebrows.

Appearance

It's like pushing a rock upstream.

Mixed metaphors

Bargain Hunter: One who is often led astray by false profits.

Activities Definitions Shopping

“This is the fastest way to get drunk,” said Tom quixotically.

Tom Swifties

Bikini: Baiting Suit.

Clothing Definitions

Anonymous: The worlds most popular author.

Definitions

Abstainer: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

Definitions

A rolling stone catches the worm.

Mixed metaphors

Consultant: Someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Definitions

Female: One who believes if you charge it, it’s not spending, and if you add a cherry to it, it’s not intoxicating.

Definitions People

“Oops! There goes my hat!” said Tom off the top of his head.

Tom Swifties

When making picture frames, you’ll need a Midas box, so you can cut the angle right.

Malaprops

Adultery: Putting yourself in someone else’s position.

Marriage Sex

You could take that guy with a grain a salt.

Mixed metaphors

There's light at the end of this rainbow.

Mixed metaphors

Tears: A good-bye product.

Definitions