Author: Anonymous Page 139

Pedal stool.

Malaprops

Chivalry: The attitude of a man toward somebody else’s wife.

Definitions

Expert: A person who knows enough to complicate simple matters.

Definitions

“I am so one of the seven dwarfs!” he said grumpily.

Tom Swifties

“Ought I to do this?” asked Tom with a shudder.

Tom Swifties

Sterile Solution: Vasectomy.

Definitions

If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?

Things

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Definitions Money

Parking Space: A place occupied by someone already there.

Miscellaneous

Chiropractor: A doctor who works his fingers to the bone… yours.

Definitions Doctors

I'd walk a mile in a camel's shoes to pass through the eye of a needle.

Mixed metaphors

Disneyland: A people trap operated by a mouse.

Definitions

Make like a tree and head out.

Mixed metaphors

Even in a sewer, the cream rises to the top.

Mixed metaphors

“I’m putting on my T-shirt, shorts, and sunglasses,” Tom summarized.

Tom Swifties

Youth: The first fifty years of your life… the first twenty of anyone else’s.

Age Definitions Young

Rattlesnake: Tattle tail.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

Get a new car for your spouse; it'll be a great trade!

Autos Things

Director: The one who always faces the music.

Definitions Music

Doughnut: Holey food.

Definitions Food/Drink

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Arms Situations Things