Author: Anonymous Page 14

Hanging: A suspended sentence.

Definitions

The less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it.

Murphy’s Laws Time

“I can’t do it!” Tom said notably.

Tom Swifties

A figure with curves always offers a lot of interesting angles.

Appearance Body People Women

There's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.

Beliefs Proverbs

I can’t make these split-minute decisions.

Mixed metaphors

“Who left the toilet seat down?” Tom asked peevishly.

Tom Swifties

Budget: An attempt to live below your yearnings.

Definitions

Giraffe: The highest form of animal life.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

Chastity: Perhaps the most peculiar of all sexual aberrations.

Definitions Sex

Insanity: Grounds for divorce in some states; grounds for marriage in all

Definitions Marriage

Acquaintance: A degree of friendship called ‘slight’ when its object is poor and ‘intimate’ when he is rich or famous.

Definitions People

An economic forecaster is like a cross-eyed javelin thrower: they don’t win many accuracy contests, but they keep the crowd’s attention.

People

Fad: Something that goes in one era and out the other.

Definitions

Desk: A dangerous place from which to view the world.

Definitions

A dirty book is rarely dusty.

Books Communication Reading/Writing Sex

Judge: A lawyer who once knew a politician.

Definitions Government Law

“Can I become a chorister?” Tom inquired.

Tom Swifties

Yearbook: A book of pictures that get nerdier with time.

Definitions

Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Activities

Venereal Disease: Germs of endearment.

Definitions Health