Author: Anonymous Page 14

It is so dry… I caught a catfish that had ticks on him.

Exaggerations Science/Weather

Cartoon: What’s sung when driving your car.

Definitions

“Sorry about that butt call,” he said cheekily.

Tom Swifties

Twins: Infant replay.

Children Definitions Family

Walking with your head between your legs.

Mixed metaphors

They have come up with a perfect understanding; he won't try to run her life, and he won't try to run his, either.

Husbands Marriage Wives

He’s still green behind the ears.

Mixed metaphors

They think they can do the portrait in one setting.

Malaprops Situations

“Would anyone like some Parmesan?” asked Tom gratingly.

Tom Swifties

Sex Education: Sermon on the mount.

Definitions Sex Wordplay

He couldn’t grow pole beans in a pile of horse shit.

Expressions Fools Intelligence Stupidity

Argument: An exchange of ignorance.

Definitions

“I’m on the green,” Tom lied.

Tom Swifties

A husband always prefers his wife’s mother-in-law to his own.

Marriage

“Boy, will I give you a haircut!” said Tom barbarously.

Tom Swifties

“It’s made the grass wet,” said Tom after due consideration.

Tom Swifties

Compromise: A deal in which two people get what neither of them wanted.

Definitions

Disinheritance: Heir cut.

Definitions

Falsies: A helpful aid to any girl in acquiring a disappointed husband.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

She really stuck her neck out on a limb.

Mixed metaphors

An alarm clock is built with a mechanism to scare the daylights into you.

Things