Author: Anonymous Page 14

Isn't it nice to not have to look over our backs anymore?

Mixed metaphors

 “Your Honor, you’re crazy!” said Tom judgmentally.

Tom Swifties

Thanks: A down payment on the next favor.

Definitions

No Exit: A sign indicating the most convenient way out of a building.

Definitions

“That horse looks like a good bet at 20 to 1,” said Tom oddly.

Tom Swifties

Prophylactic: A rubber check.

Definitions

It is so hot… potatoes cook underground.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

I think the big guns will come to the boil.

Mixed metaphors

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

Activities Characteristics Exercise

Parking Meter: An automatic device that bets a dollar to your nickel that you can’t get back before the time runs out.

Definitions Things

Sales Resistance: The triumph of mind over patter.

Definitions

Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it.

Conflict Crime People

Spinster: A lady in waiting.

Definitions People Women

She looked gorgeous in her new dress – absolutely explicit.

Malaprops

“Have you seen my collection of ancient Chinese artifacts?” asked Tom charmingly.

Tom Swifties

False Pregnancy: Laboring under a misconception.

Definitions

He used to kiss her on her lips, but it's all over now.

Situations

Balanced Diet: A cookie in each hand.

Definitions

He's so thin he had to stand twice in the same place to make a shadow.

Miscellaneous

I'm sweating like a bullet.

Mixed metaphors

We could stand here and talk until the cows turn blue.

Mixed metaphors