Author: Anonymous Page 141

Diplomacy: The ability to take something and make the other fellow believe he is giving it away.

Definitions

Limit: Maximum number of a particular fish that an angler can take in a day. This number varies from place to place and species to species, but it is a largely theoretical restriction with little practical application.

Activities Definitions

We'll drive off of that bridge when we get to it.

Mixed metaphors

Fishing: A jerk at one end of the line waiting for a jerk at the other end.

Activities Definitions

I'd walk a mile in a camel's shoes to pass through the eye of a needle.

Mixed metaphors

You can’t have your hill and die on it too.

Mixed metaphors

Camp: A place in the country where a mother sends her children for her vacation.

Definitions Places

Teacher: A disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.

Children Definitions Education

I’m so hungry I could beat a dead horse.

Mixed metaphors

He’s not the one with his ass in a noose.

Mixed metaphors

How can you tell when sour cream goes bad?

Food/Drink Situations

These two guys are cut out of the same mold.

Mixed metaphors

e-mail: An advertising medium which is misused for personal messaging.

Communication Definitions

“I’ve joined the navy,” Tom said fleetingly.

Tom Swifties

Grandmother: A babysitter who doesn’t hang around the refrigerator.

Definitions Family

You are so lazy if you had a third hand, you’d need a third pocket to put it in.

Characteristics Expressions

You’ve buttered your bread, now lie in it.

Mixed metaphors

Boat: A hole in the water surrounded by wood into which one pours money.

Definitions Things

“What’s a wide-angle lens?” asked Tom obtusely.

Tom Swifties

“This salmon is excellent,” said Tom superficially.

Tom Swifties

Right now, I couldn't get laid in a women's prison with a fistful of pardons.

Sex Situations