Author: Anonymous Page 141

Tennis: a racquet sport in which two players compete to see who has the shortest temper, the worst memory, the poorest eyesight, and the slowest watch.

Sports

“I’m in the shower,” called out Tom barely audible.

Tom Swifties

School teachers are not fully appreciated by parents until it rains all day Saturday.

Education Occupations Work

Awe: Wow of silence.

Definitions

Cheerfulness: The art of concealing your true feelings.

Definitions Emotions Happiness

Conference: An organized way of postponing a decision.

Definitions

“I’ve joined the navy,” Tom said fleetingly.

Tom Swifties

Collection: A church function in which many take but a passing interest.

Definitions

“My neurotic blood-sucking arachnid has put on weight”, said Tom, his nervous tic showing again.

Tom Swifties

Censorship: The power of the suppress.

Communication Wordplay

Camp: A place in the country where a mother sends her children for her vacation.

Definitions Places

“Will you quit rustling around in my closet!” said Leif.

Tom Swifties

Expert: A person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.

Definitions

Government Bureau: Where the taxpayer’s shirt is kept.

Definitions Government Taxes

“I used to command a battalion of German ants,” said Tom exuberantly.

Tom Swifties

I'm traveling incoherent.

Malaprops

Worry: Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.

Definitions Emotions

American Idealism: Being willing to make any sacrifice that won’t hurt business.

Definitions

Jealousy: The tribute mediocrity pays to genius.

Characteristics Definitions

Freudian Slip: When you say one thing but mean your mother.

Communication Definitions