Author: Anonymous Page 4

Communism: Nobody’s got nothin’, but everybody’s workin’.

Definitions

G String: Gownless evening strap.

Clothing Definitions

Brilliant sunshine rained down on the city.

Misspokements Mixed metaphors

“Is it true that some animals will eat their own babies?” asked Tom literately.

Tom Swifties

Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.

Communication

“Boy, will I give you a haircut!” said Tom barbarously.

Tom Swifties

“I manufacture tabletops for shops,” said Tom counterproductively.

Tom Swifties

Kin: An affliction of the blood.

Definitions Family

They need to wake up and smell the music.

Mixed metaphors

Good Advice: What a man gives when he gets too old to set a bad example.

Beliefs Definitions Opinion

Adam wasn’t always the brightest tool.

Mixed metaphors

America: A nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but can think of nothing to do when it gets there.

America Definitions Places

“Why don’t you have some fruit?”, asked Tom with aplomb.

Tom Swifties

The doctor felt the man's purse and thought it was awfully low.

Health Malaprops

“Parsley, sage, rosemary,” said Tom timelessly.

Tom Swifties

“I won’t finish in fifth place,” Tom held forth.

Tom Swifties

Man was predestined to have free will.

Miscellaneous

Experience: What causes a person to make new mistakes instead of the same old ones.

Definitions Mistakes

Looting: A public shopping spree generously sponsored by local merchants in the wake of a riot.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Crime Definitions

Life: A continuous series of disasters which result in one’s death.

Death Definitions Life

Riding: The art of keeping a horse between yourself and the ground.

Animals Definitions