Author: Anonymous Page 5

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

Murphy’s Laws

Disrespect: Giving someone half of the peace sign without suggesting they’re number one.

Definitions

Money roots out all evil.

Mixed metaphors

It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.

Beliefs People Religion Sex

It is so hot… I saw a chicken lay a fried egg.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

“That horse looks like a good bet at 20 to 1,” said Tom oddly.

Tom Swifties

Antique: An object that has made a round trip to the attic.

Definitions Things

Liberal: A man who feel’s it’s his responsibility to spend a Conservative’s money.

Beliefs Definitions People

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

Beliefs Intelligence Proverbs Understanding

Specialist: A man who knows more and more about less and less.

Definitions

“Angel dust? Me? Never touch it!” Tom snorted.

Tom Swifties

Bowling Alley: A quiet place of amusement where you can hear a pin drop.

Activities Definitions

His nose is so big… he has to lift it to eat.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Age Beliefs Honesty Lies

Cold War: Hot peace.

Conflict Definitions

He’s crooked as a barrel full of fish hooks.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty Insults

I wish I could play my normal game… just once.

Golf Sports

Bad Driver: The person you run into.

Autos Definitions Things

Credit: A commodity that becomes better the less it is used.

Definitions

Spine: A long, limber bone. Your head sets on one end and you set on the other.

Definitions

Tears: Remorse code.

Definitions Wordplay