Author: Anonymous Page 7

Adolescence is the best substitute ever invented for experience.

Age

Atomic Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Definitions

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Situations Things

Etiquette is the noise you don’t make while having soup.

Characteristics

“I lost my pants in the stock market,” Tom speculated.

Tom Swifties

It was so cold… pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers' pockets to keep warm.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Between closed walls

Mixed metaphors

“I’m wearing my wedding ring,” said Tom with abandon.

Tom Swifties

Small Town: A place where everybody knows the troubles you’ve seen.

Definitions Places

Vice: A function to keep virtue within reasonable bounds.

Definitions

Imagination: What puts men in asylums unless they are crazy enough to put it down on paper or canvas.

Definitions

Forger: The man who gives a check a bad name.

Definitions

Doctor: The only man who hasn’t a guaranteed cure for a cold.

Definitions Doctors Health

Consultant: Someone who borrows your watch then tells you what time it is.

Definitions

“I was adopted,” said Tom transparently.

Tom Swifties

It’s time to grab the bull by the tail and look him in the eye.

Mixed metaphors

The Norwegian language has been described as German spoken underwater.

Communication Language Places

Rattle some feathers.

Mixed metaphors

“I had an accident in the kitchen,” said Tom with panache.

Tom Swifties

“Hey, what’s it worth if I help you escape from prison?” asked Tom contemptuously.

Tom Swifties

Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it.

Conflict Crime People