Author: Anonymous Page 77

I want to see you go to town like a house of fire.

Mixed metaphors

Disrespect: Giving someone half of the peace sign without suggesting they’re number one.

Definitions

Memorial Service: A farewell party for someone who has already left.

Death Definitions

Cannibals are not vegetarians, they are humanitarians.

Food/Drink People

Streams of pilgrims, old and young… flood towards the river to worship.

Mixed metaphors

Raining like a sieve

Mixed metaphors

Artist’s Model: A girl unsuited for her work.

Definitions

Black Eye: A stamp of disapproval.

Definitions

Opportunist: A person who, finding himself in hot water, decides he needs a bath anyway.

Definitions Situations

“He’s a boring chap,” said Tom indulgently.

Tom Swifties

After-Dinner Speaker: A fellow who rises to the occasion – and then stands too long.

Definitions

He is so ugly… when he throws a boomerang it won’t come back.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

I'm traveling incoherent.

Malaprops

Chickens: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

Animals Definitions Eating Food/Drink

She could eat an apple through a picket fence.

Appearance Expressions

“I can’t do it!” Tom said notably.

Tom Swifties

The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name… and they say golf is a quiet game.

Golf Sports

Counsel: Advice with a price tag.

Definitions

Husband: One who stands by you in troubles you wouldn’t have had if you hadn’t married him.

Definitions Marriage

Handkerchief: Cold Storage.

Definitions Health

A rolling stone kills no birds.

Mixed metaphors