Author: Anonymous Page 77

It was time to get my act in gear.

Mixed metaphors

Dog Kennel: A barking lot.

Animals Definitions Dogs

Humility: The ability to act ashamed when you tell people how wonderful you are.

Definitions

“I need some suspenders for my pants,” Tom upheld.

Tom Swifties

Kicking off the hockey season

Mixed metaphors

Executive: A person who can take two hours for lunch without anybody missing him.

Definitions Occupations

Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.

Appearance Body Definitions

Cold: An ailment cured in two weeks with a doctor’s care, and in fourteen days without it.

Definitions Doctors Health

He was grinning like a butchers dog.

Emotions Expressions Happiness

Don't mind me, I'm just a mouse on the wall.

Mixed metaphors

There are two theories to arguing with women… neither one works.

People Women

The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence but you still have to mow it.

Situations

Hindsight: What one experiences from changing too many diapers.

Definitions

She may want to tackle that battle.

Mixed metaphors

Bankruptcy: A fate worse than debt.

Definitions Money

Bored: To attend meetings.

Definitions

Right there on the tip of my brain

Mixed metaphors

Boxing: A mutual affliction of brain damage for the amusement of the public.

Boxing Definitions Sports

There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.

Communication Health Language

She has got 10 foot pole marks all over her.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

It ain't rocket surgery.

Mixed metaphors