Author: Anonymous Page 78

Statesman: A politician away from home.

Definitions Politicians

“The insect in William’s hand is wearing a yarmulka!” said Tom jubilantly.

Tom Swifties

“Ought I to do this?” asked Tom with a shudder.

Tom Swifties

“Get out of my hair,” was Tom’s brush-off.

Tom Swifties

Jim Rosenthal to an American goalie: So what’s an American doing playing in goal for Millwall.

The goalie’s reply: I’m trying to keep the ball out.

Colemanballs

It was so cold… the politicians had their hands in their own pockets.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Sometimes you just have to let sleeping dogs fall where they may.

Mixed metaphors

Courtship: A period during which a girl decides whether or not she can do better.

Definitions Relationships

It's time to grab the bull by the tail and look it in the eye.

Mixed metaphors

Telephone: A contrivance for letting us talk to people whom we don’t want to meet.

Definitions Things

Hermits have no peer pressure.

Characteristics

He's trying to gain a foothold in the public eye.

Mixed metaphors

Brassiere: A bust stop.

Clothing Definitions

Congress: A body of men brought together to slow down the government.

Congress Definitions Government

The bigger the box, the bigger the things that won't fit in it.

Miscellaneous

Self-respect: The secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.

Definitions

“This movie will be very popular,” Tom projected.

Tom Swifties

A dirty book is rarely dusty.

Books Communication Reading/Writing Sex

“I’ve joined the navy,” Tom said fleetingly.

Tom Swifties

An apple a day doesn’t from the tree.

Mixed metaphors

Oar: Clumsy wooden implement used to moisten boat occupants.

Definitions Things