Author: Anonymous Page 89

Home: A place where man goes to raise a fuss because something went wrong at the office.

Definitions Places

Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.

Definitions Wordplay

Bachelor: A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.

Definitions Men People Relationships

“That’s price-fixing!” said Tom caustically.

Tom Swifties

Taste: (female Interpretation): Something you do frequently to whatever you’re cooking, to make sure it’s good;   (male Interpretation): Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.

Definitions Men People Women

Deep pockets… short arms

Expressions

Consciousness: The annoying time between naps.

Definitions

“It’s not fair!” said Tom darkly.

Tom Swifties

“I hate math,” Tom added.

Tom Swifties

Counterfeiter: A guy who gets into trouble by following a good example.

Definitions

“Watch out for that broken glass!” she said sharply.

Tom Swifties

Senility: A cleansing of the mental blackboard shortly before class is dismissed.

Age Definitions Old

Americans: People with more time-saving devices and less time than any other people in the world.

Definitions People

Consultation: A medical term meaning “share the wealth.”

Definitions

A year ago Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America; now he’s unknown throughout he world.

People

Expert: A person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.

Definitions

Small Town: Where everybody is interested in what the Joneses will name the latest baby, while a big city is where they worry about what the zoo will call the new elephant.

Definitions Places

Debt: A trap which a man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.

Definitions Money

Father’s Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

Children Definitions Family Food/Drink

If you are going to get the grief, you might as well get the gravy.

Expressions

Shoplifting: Free enterprise.

Conflict Crime Definitions