Author: Ambrose Bierce

Reparation: Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Money

Cynic: A man who sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Congratulation: The civility of envy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Admiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language Self

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Emotions Language Love

Contempt: The feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Recount: In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Elections/Voting Government

Wedding: A ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Marriage People

Pessimism: A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Outdo: To make an enemy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Art Definitions

University: A modern school where football is taught.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Football Language School

There never was an impostor so hateful, a blockhead so stupid, a crank so variously and offensively daft… he makes me tired.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Insults Intelligence

Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Diagnosis: A physician's forecast of the disease by the patient's pulse and purse.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Health Language Money

Selfish: Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Un-American: Wicked, intolerable, heathenish.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
America Characteristics Definitions Places

In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, “the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.”

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Government

Road: A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Activities Autos Definitions Things Travel

Positive: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Speech

Christian: A man who feels repentance on a Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion