Author: Ambrose Bierce Page 5

Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Doctors Health

Price: Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Money

Reparation: Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Money

Novel: A short story padded.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Books Communication

Cynic: A man who sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Infidel: In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

There never was an impostor so hateful, a blockhead so stupid, a crank so variously and offensively daft… he makes me tired.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Insults Intelligence

To be positive: To be mistaken at the top of one's voice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Speech

History: An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions History Time

Recount: In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Elections/Voting Government

Take: To acquire, frequently by force but preferably by stealth.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Situations

Marriage: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Marriage

Plagiarize: To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Reading/Writing

Overeat: To dine.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Eating Food/Drink Language

Politeness is the most acceptable hypocrisy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics

Recollect: To recall with additions something not previously known.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Memory

Egotism: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Taxes

Glutton: A person who escapes the evils of moderation by committing dyspepsia.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Eating

Self-esteem: An erroneous appraisement.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Litigant: A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Government Law