Author: George Bernard Shaw Page 3

Newspapers are unable, seemingly, to discriminate between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilization.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

We have in England a curious belief in first-rate people, meaning all the people we do not know; and this consoles us for the undeniable second-rateness of the people we do know.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Never fret for an only son, the idea of failure will never occur to him.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? … If he knows anything about it, he shouldn’t!

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

A woman whose face looked as if it had been made of sugar and someone had licked it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

My way of joking is to tell the truth.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

There are two tragedies in life; one is not to get your heart’s desire, the other is to get it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

The vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by music.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

In order to fully realize how bad a popular play can be, it is necessary to see it twice.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

If more than ten per cent of the population likes a painting, it should be burned, for it must be bad.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

The chief objection of playing wind instruments is that it prolongs the life of the player.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Patriotism is the conviction that your country is superior to all others because you were born in it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Nowadays a parlor maid as ignorant as Queen Victoria was when she came to the throne would be classed as mentally defective.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can, as a rule, calculate on the support of Paul.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist