Author: George Bernard Shaw Page 3

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

The faults of the burglar are qualities of the financier.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

A drama critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

We have in England a curious belief in first-rate people, meaning all the people we do not know; and this consoles us for the undeniable second-rateness of the people we do know.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Newspapers are unable, seemingly, to discriminate between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilization.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Nowadays a parlor maid as ignorant as Queen Victoria was when she came to the throne would be classed as mentally defective.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Lack of money is the root of all evil.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire?… the one nearest the door of course.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

There are two tragedies in life; one is not to get your heart’s desire, the other is to get it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig; you get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Even the youngest of us may be wrong sometimes.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Only lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

My way of joking is to tell the truth.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist