Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: George Bernard Shaw Page 3
The English are not very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
England
People
Places
Sports
Time
Cricket
Eternity
If more than ten per cent of the population likes a painting, it should be burned, for it must be bad.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Art
Entertainment
Painting
There would never be any public agreement among doctors if they did not agree to agree on the main point of the doctor being always on the right.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Doctors
Health
Occupations
Work
In order to fully realize how bad a popular play can be, it is necessary to see it twice.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Reviews/Criticism
Theater
Even the youngest of us may be wrong sometimes.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Age
Problems
Young
Wrong
I knew if I waited around long enough something like this would happen.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Death
Epitaphs
Suggested epitaph
All my life affection has been showered on me, and every forward step I have made has been taken in spite of it.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
People
Self
Success
Affection
Mendoza: I am a brigand: I live by robbing the rich.
Tanner: I am a gentleman: I live by robbing the poor.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Money
People
From “Man and Superman”
Never fret for an only son, the idea of failure will never occur to him.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Failure
Problems
Success
Only sons
The brain is entirely fat… without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Intelligence
Brain
We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Emotions
Happiness
We have in England a curious belief in first-rate people, meaning all the people we do not know; and this consoles us for the undeniable second-rateness of the people we do know.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Characteristics
England
People
Places
Liars
Lack of money is the root of all evil.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Money
Poverty
Root of all evil
Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire?… the one nearest the door of course.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Art
Entertainment
Situations
Fire
My mother married a very good man… and she is not at all keen on my doing the same.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Marriage
Homosexuals
The vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by music.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Dance
Entertainment
Music
Sex
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Communication
Conversation
Insults
Speech
There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Death
Hanging
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Characteristics
Intelligence
Stupidity
Danger
Sincere
Virtue is insufficient temptation.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Characteristics
Temptation
Virtue
The faults of the burglar are qualities of the financier.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Occupations
Work
Burglar
Financier
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