Author: Oscar Levant

She not only worships the golden calf, she barbecues it for lunch.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Insults

I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Memory

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication Entertainment Language

My psychiatrist once said to me, “Maybe life isn't for everyone.”

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Life Self

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, “You're only interested in one thing,” and you can't remember what it is.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Marriage Memory Sex

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Characteristics Hollywood Places Time

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication Language

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Beliefs Characteristics Opinion

Musicals: a series of catastrophes ending with a floorshow.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Entertainment

Epigram: A wisecrack that played Carnegie Hall.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication Definitions Language

I think a lot of Bernstein… but not as much as he does.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Insults

A dollar saved is a quarter earned.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Government Money

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Intelligence

So little time and so little to do.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Activities Time

I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

It's not what you are but what you don't become that hurts.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
People Self

I am no more humble than my talents require.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Characteristics

I’m a controversial figure: my friends either dislike me or hate me.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Friends Old People Self

I played an unsympathetic part… myself.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Acting Entertainment

Play us a medley of your hit.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Entertainment Insults Music

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Insults