Author: Stewart Francis Page 3

I married way too young… she was Chinese.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

I'm not much of a storyteller… interesting how that all started…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech

I used to be in a band called ‘Missing Cat’… you probably saw our posters.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Situations

All I had to my name were some letters and all I had in my pocket was a broken compass; I didn’t know which way to turn.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

My fairy Godmother once asked me if I’d rather have a long penis or a long memory… I forget what my answer was.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Intelligence Memory

I went to a karaoke bar last night that didn't play any 70's music…
at first I was afraid, oh I was petrified.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment

Did I already tell you my Alzheimer's joke?

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance; we'll see about that.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics Doctors Health

I love going on blind dates because you can stare at their tits. … Some of you are now thinking — “Hey you can’t make fun of the blind…” Watch me.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Dating Language Relationships

Today I held the elevator door open for a spastic… sorry that’s an inappropriate word for this site, I meant ‘lift.’

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

There's a fine line between hyphenated words…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

My father is schizophrenic, but he’s good people.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Family Fathers Health

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Situations

I'm not a competitive person… I'll be the first to admit it.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
People Self

My girlfriend say’s that I’m afraid of commitment… well she’s not my girlfriend… more a wife.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Girlfriends Marriage Relationships Wives

I read today that 10 out of 2 people are dyslectic.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Health

My piñata costume was a hit with the crowd

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Have you ever noticed how popular observational comedy is?

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Emotions

I wrote a book about a transsexual with a speech impediment; it's called Man or Myth.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
People

I used to be a mime…. but now I can talk about it…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Entertainment Occupations Speech Work

At school the other kids used to push me around and call me lazy; I loved that wheelchair.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay