Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Keyword:
Criticism
(Page 4)
You know, you can’t please all the people all the time… and last night, all those people were at my show.
Mitch Hedberg
(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics
Entertainment
People
Criticism
Please
Show
She's generous to a fault… if it's her own.
Arthur ‘Bugs’ Baer
(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Characteristics
Communication
Criticism
Generosity
A great many people now reading and writing would be better employed keeping rabbits.
Edith Sitwell
(1887 – 1964) English biographer, critic, novelist & poet
Insults
Criticism
Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
Bill Maher
(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Men
People
Women
Criticism
Isn't it possible for them to get a real fascist instead of this guy who plays one on TV?
Mort Sahl
(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Characteristics
Communication
Television
Criticism
Sean Hannity
The ‘g’ is silent… the only thing about her that is.
Julie Burchill
(1959 – ) English writer & columnist
Communication
Insults
Speech
About author Camille Paglia
Criticism
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Harrison's Postulate
Beliefs
Murphy’s Laws
Opinion
Criticism
Has anyone told the Fox News anchors that Mad Men was not a documentary of how America should be?
Tim Goodman
American television critic
Reviews/Criticism
Criticism
Fox News
If people don't sit at Chaplin's feet, he goes out and stands where they are sitting.
Herman J. Mankiewicz
(1897 – 1953) American writer & producer
Communication
Charlie Chaplin
Criticism
The only people who say worse things about politicians than reporters do are other politicians.
Andy Rooney
(1919 – 2011) American news commentator & writer
Communication
Politicians
Criticism
Reporters
You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
Henny Youngman
(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Communication
Cemeteries
Criticism
I doubt that art needed [John] Ruskin any more than a moving train needs one of its passengers to shove it.
Tom Stoppard
(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter
Art
Entertainment
Insults
Criticism
John Ruskin
The greatest man who ever came out of Plymouth Corner, Vermont.
Clarence Darrow
(1857 – 1938) American lawyer
Communication
Places
Criticism
On Calvin Coolidge
Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Communication
Insults
People
Criticism
Critics
Uselessness
The best time I ever had with Joan Crawford was when I pushed her down the stairs in
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?
Bette Davis
(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Insults
Situations
Criticism
Joan Crawford
She is a peacock in everything but beauty.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance
Body
Insults
Criticism
When your head is in the bear's mouth, it is not the time to be smacking him on the nose.
Anonymous
Communication
Problems
Criticism
Trouble
It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.
Dick Cavett
(1936 – ) television talk show host
Communication
Individuals
People
Criticism
Why am I so good at playing bitches? I think it's because I'm not a bitch; maybe that's why Miss Crawford always plays ladies.
Bette Davis
(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Entertainment
Film
Insults
Bitches
Criticism
Joan Crawford
I gave up on new poetry myself thirty years ago, when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens on a hostile world.
Russell Baker
(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Communication
Reading/Writing
Criticism
Poetry
Yeah… I remember
my
first beer.
Steve Martin
(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Alcohol
Beer
Food/Drink
Criticism
Response to a heckler
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