Subject: Animals » Cats

I’m fond of pigs… dogs look up to us… cats look down on us… pigs treat us as equal.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator

We’ve a cat called Ben Hur; we called it Ben till it had kittens.


The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look whether they’ve seen a moth or an ax murder.

(1959 – ) American comedian

I Could Pee on This: And Other Poems by Cats

When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.

I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist

How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You

You've never seen a cat have sex… nobody has; the Discovery Channel hasn't caught that.

American comedian & television host

To err is human; to purr, feline.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator

Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what would happen if you strapped toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

A cat walking into a room containing twelve seated people will jump into the lap of the person who hates cats the most.

Cats don’t belong to people; they belong to places.


Why don’t they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president

A man who was loved by 300 women singled me out to live with him… Why? … I was the only one without a cat.

(1952 – ) comedian

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist

For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat.

When a cat ignores you, you think “that's on you” … when a dog ignores you, you think “you saw into my dark soul.”

(1982 – ) American comedian & actress

FREE TO GOOD HOME – Beautiful 6 mo. old male kitten — orange & caramel tabby, playful, friendly very affectionate, ideal for family w/ kids. OR Handsome 32 yr. old husband – personable, funny, good job, but doesn't like cats. Says he goes or cat goes. Call Jennifer 265-…. — come see both and decide which you'd like.