Subject: Animals » Cats

When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.

Any member introducing a dog into the Society’s premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat.

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist

A house without a dog or a cat is the house of a scoundrel.

A child is a person who can’t understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

Cat: A pygmy lion who loathes mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator

So, You’ve Got a Fat Pussy

My sister wanted a cat for a pet… I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor

Cat: A lap warmer with a built-in buzzer.

Cat: A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

(1948 – ) English novelist

How are you supposed to be able to tell when cat food has gone bad?

(1964 – ) American

Nature abhors a vacuum… but not as much as cats do.

For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat.

Kittens play with yarn, they bat it around. What they’re really doing is saying, “I can’t knit, get this away from me!”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

To err is human; to purr, feline.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator

I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist

Why don’t they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you.

(1962 – ) American English professor & writer under pen name Eloisa James

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