Subject: Life

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

If your time ain't come, not even a doctor can kill you.

I am one of those people who just can’t help getting a kick out of life – even when it’s a kick in the teeth.

(1900 – 1962) Russian – Jewish madam & author

Some mornings, it’s just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

(1956 – ) American comedian

The reports on human progress are beginning to come in, and some are a little discouraging.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist

We’re all going down the same road in different directions.

Immortality – a fate worse than death.


All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a rich widow.

(1899 – 1995) humorist

All the world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

(1880 – 1964) Irish dramatist

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

Life is a sexually transmitted disease.

(1927 – 1989) Scottish psychiatrist

Puberty is a phase… fifteen years of rejection is a lifestyle.

stand-up comedian

Life: A play with a lousy third act.

All the rudiments of success in life can be found in ironing a pair of trousers.

British boxing champion

I recommend you to take care of the minutes, for the hours will take care of themselves.

Lord Chesterfield (1694 – 1773) British statesman

I had everything a kid could want: two square meals a day, a basket to sleep in, and an imaginary dog.

(1949 – ) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

To me life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Everything takes more time and money.

Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.

(1899 – 1986) American writer, journalist & cartoonist

Dick Clark went to a psychic; she told him, in a previous life, he was Dick Clark.

comedian
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