Subject: Life

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade… and then throw it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you originally asked for.

(1973 – ) American author of young adult fiction,

Capital punishment is our way of demonstrating the sanctity of life.

(1934 – ) U.S. senator (Utah)

Aren’t I lucky, to have survived so much bad luck.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist

I’d like the window that says “Are you sure you want to do this? “OK/Cancel” to pop up less often on my computer and more in my real life.

The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the devil’s own satanic herd!

(1955 – ) English actor

When someone follows you all the way to the shop and watches you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed.

(1969 – ) American actress, film director & producer

When I was young I used to think that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old, I know it is.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Baseball is a lot like life. The line drives are caught, the squibbles go for base hits. It's an unfair game.

American baseball player

The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author

To me life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Life is one long process of getting tired.

I can take reality in small doses, but not as a life style.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer

I’m tired of getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop.

(1926 – 1962) actress, sex symbol

To the question: Do married people live longer?

Fields responded: No, it just seems longer.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.

(1918 – 2002) advice columnist

Life is a gamble at terrible odds… if it was a bet you wouldn’t take it.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter

Marriage, in life, is like a duel in the midst of a battle.

(1828 – 1885) French novelist, publicist & journalist

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer