Subject: People » Women

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer

When a guy writes a scene where a woman does a deviant sex act on camera, it’s objectifying; but when a woman writes it, it’s feminism.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian

Men can read maps better than women… cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

(1920 – 1996) American psychologist & writer & advocate of psychedelic drugs

Women were brought up to believe that men were the answer; they weren’t… they weren’t even one of the questions.

(1946 – ) English writer

The way things are these days, a girl's gotta play hard to take.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian

A homely face and no figure have aided many women heavenward.

(1861 – 1950) American writer

As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist

Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbors seeing.

If women don't find you handsome they should at least find you handy.

(1945 – ) Canadian comedian & actor

She was what we used to call a suicide blonde—dyed by her own hand.

(1915 – 2005) Canadian writer

Women should be obscene and not heard.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something.

(1956 – ) American comedian

Crying is the refuge of plain women, but the ruin of pretty ones.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

The first time Adam had a chance, he laid the blame on woman.

(1879 – 1964) British politician

The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.

(1899 – 1995) humorist

They say men can never experience the pain of childbirth; but they can, if you hit them in the goolies with a cricket bat for 14 hours.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian

Nymphomaniac:  a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author

Girls are like pianos… when they're not upright, they're grand.

(1924 – 1992) English comedian & actor

All women dress like their mothers, that is their tragedy; no man ever does, that is his.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright

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