Subject: People » Women

I married beneath me – all women do.

(1879 – 1964) British politician

Someone who looks like Marilyn Monroe and talks like George S. Kaufman.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature; and another woman to help him forget them.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist

I can tell a woman’s age in half a minute — and I do!

(1836 – 1911) English dramatist, librettist, poet & illustrator

Whatever women do, they must do it twice as well as men to be thought half as good.

I'm trying to find one woman that I can spend the rest of this weekend with.

American comedian

Behind every great man there lies a great woman… and one in front of him as well if he’s lucky.

(1967 – ) English comedian

Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

One thing in which the sexes are equal is in thinking that they're not.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist

You drive the car, you don't carry it.

American woman auto racer

Once a woman has given you her heart you can never get rid of the rest of her body.

(1664 – 1726) English architect & dramatist

A woman is like a cup of tea; you'll never know how strong she is until she boils.

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

(1942 – ) American author and teacher

If women don't find you handsome they should at least find you handy.

(1945 – ) Canadian comedian & actor

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

(1962 – ) Canadian-American actor & comedian

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer

My wife is a sex object; every time I ask for sex, she objects.

(1931 – 1993) English comedian

Maybe we weren't at the Last Supper, but we're certainly going to be at the next one.

(1920 – 1998) lawyer, congresswoman, & women's movement activist

A woman is the only thing I am afraid of that I know will not hurt me.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net.

American playwright, television writer & author

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