Subject: People » Women

She’s a classy girl though, at least all her tattoos are spelt right.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor

Man forgives woman anything save the wit to outwit him.

(1861 – 1950) American writer

The reason there are so few female politicians is that it’s too much trouble putting make-up on two faces.

Australian comedian & actress

It's ill-becoming for an old broad to sing about how bad she wants it… but occasionally we do.

(1917 – 2010) American singer & actress

Were kisses all the joys in bed, one woman would another wed.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet

There’s a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there’s a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer

The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes; then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars

Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist

A woman who strives to be like a man lacks ambition.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.

(1955– ) writer & screenwriter

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good… luckily, this is not difficult.

(1896 – 1975) Canadian mayor (Ottawa) & feminist

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men, and I just want to say to the authors of that study "Duh."

(1963 – ) television host & comedian

I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it – if I was hungry, I would talk about food.

American actor & comedian

Son, when a woman says nothing's wrong, it means everything's wrong; when a woman says everything's wrong, it means everything's wrong; and when a woman says that something isn't funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

I married beneath me – all women do.

(1879 – 1964) British politician

To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beginning of the end.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist

Women deprived of the company of men pine, men deprived of the company of women become stupid.

(1860 – 1904) Russian short-story writer, playwright & physician

A woman’s a woman until the day she dies, but a man’s only a man as long as he can.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian

It is said that behind every great man lies a great woman… this is because women lie.

(1967 – ) English comedian

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

(1920 – 1996) American psychologist & writer & advocate of psychedelic drugs

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