Subject: People » Women

America is a land where men govern, but women rule.

(1900 – 1969) American drama critic & author
America Men People Places Women

I'm not saying older women are sluttier; I'm just saying, an older woman isn't gonna make you wait 'til three in the morning 'cause she's got shit to do the next day.

American comedian
Age Old People Sex Women

I was in the supermarket the other day, and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands; her name was “woman.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
People Women

If we men married the women we deserved, we should have a very bad time of it.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Marriage Men People Women

You [women] like mystery, ‘cause it’s not a mystery to you; you know when you’re gonna get laid.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
People Sex Women

Never underestimate a man’s ability to underestimate a woman.

(1954 – ) American actress
Men People TV/Movie Quotes Women

Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships.

American comedian
Men Relationships Sex Women

The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Girls People Places Women

That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Men People Shopping Women

We have lived through the era when happiness was a warm puppy, and the era when happiness was a dry martini, and now we have come to the era when happiness is "knowing what your uterus looks like.”

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Appearance Body People Women

Crying is the refuge of plain women, but the ruin of pretty ones.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance People Women

A woman is the only thing I am afraid of that I know will not hurt me.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Fear People Women

Any girl can be glamorous… all you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

(1913 – 2000) Austrian-American actress, mathematician & inventor
Appearance People Women

[With women] it’s like God made a little package; it’s all tucked in with hospital corners and stuff; and with men, it’s like God started to make a bow, and the phone rang.

(1969 – ) American stand-up comedian & actress
Men People Women

Girls are like pianos… when they're not upright, they're grand.

(1924 – 1992) English comedian & actor
Girls People Women

18,000 Women Recalled For New Tests

Headlines Women

Everybody knows that if female genitalia could speak, it would sound exactly like Enya.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
People Women

Taste: (female Interpretation): Something you do frequently to whatever you’re cooking, to make sure it’s good;   (male Interpretation): Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.

Definitions Men People Women

A bachelor can only chase a girl until she catches him.

Marriage Men Murphy’s Laws People Women

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

(1920 – 1996) American psychologist & writer & advocate of psychedelic drugs
People Situations Women

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Appearance Body Fat People Women