Subject: Sports » Golf

One hundred years of experience has demonstrated that the game is temporary insanity practiced in a pasture.

American sports journalist

The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name… and they say golf is a quiet game.

By the time a man can afford to lose a golf ball, he can't hit it that far.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist

If you break 100, watch your golf; if you break 80, watch your business.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist

Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle.

(1916 – 1987) television actor & comedian

Golf is the only game in which a precise knowledge of the rules can earn one a reputation for bad sportsmanship.

Irish journalist & author

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.

(1897 – 1976) American novelist, short story & sports writer

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

novelist, screenwriter & businessman

Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator

Golf isn’t a game, it’s a choice that one makes with one’s life.

screenwriter & producer

I lost 150 lbs. if you include my wife.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator

For those who know golf, no explanation is necessary. For those who don't, no explanation is possible.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter

Notices are appearing at courses telling golfers not to lick their balls on the green.

Hockey is a sport for white men; basketball is a sport for black men; golf is a sport for white men dressed like pimps.

professional golfer

If you pick up a golfer and hold it close to your ear, like a conch shell, and listen, you will hear an alibi.

I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.

professional baseball player

A well-adjusted man is one who can play golf as if it were a game.

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president

I read the greens in Spanish, but putt in English.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer

While playing golf today I hit two good balls… I stepped on a rake.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian

The point is that it doesn't matter if you look like a beast before or after the hit, as long as you look like a beauty at the moment of impact.

Spanish professional golfer

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