Quotes and One Liners

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

This bear was six foot seven in his stocking feet and had shoes on.

Animals TV/Movie Quotes As Captain Spaulding in “Animal Crackers” Bears

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

It ain’t German to the conversation. It ain’t supposed to make sense; it’s faith. Faith is something that you believe that nobody in his right mind would believe.

TV/Movie Quotes As John Bender in “The Breakfast Club”

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Beliefs Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes Faith Germaine

I wanna be just like you… all I need is a lobotomy and some tights.

Judd Nelson

(1959 – ) American actor, screenwriter & producer

Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse!

TV/Movie Quotes As Dr. Hackenbush in “A Day at the Races” Horse

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

If God didn't want me to eat chicken in church, then he would have made gluttony a sin.

Mothers TV/Movie Quotes As Gomez Addams in “The Addams Family”

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes Gluttony

I didn’t hate my mother; it was an accident!

Raul Julia

(1940 – 1994) Puerto Rican actor

These people know a lot about that voodoody-ohh-doo-doo.

TV/Movie Quotes As Max Bialystock in “The Producers”

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes Voodoo

“Do you know who I used to be?”

‘Zero’ Mostel

(1915 – 1977) American actor of stage and screen

Though the eyes are the window to the soul, the zipper is the window to the underwear.

Sean Hayes

(1970 – ) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Jack McFarland on “Will & Grace”

Utrilities

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes Utilities

We took some pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed, but we're going back again in a couple of weeks.

TV/Movie Quotes As Captain Spaulding in “Animal Crackers” Pictures

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

I wear my heart on a sleaze.

Christina Applegate

(1971 – ) American actress

Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes As Kelly Bundy in “Married With Children” Sleeve

Get a man a beer, he drinks for five minutes – show him where they are, he drinks all day.

Anthony LaPaglia

(1959 – ) Australian actor

Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes As Simon Moon in “Frasier”

Suzanne, if sex were fast food, there’d be an arch over your bed!

Dixie Carter

(1939 – 2010) American actress

Sex TV/Movie Quotes As Julia Sugarbaker in “Designing Women”

Marge, your cooking only has two moves: Shake and Bake.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Cooking TV/Movie Quotes

The two of you was intricate together.

Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes As Diane Chambers in “Cheers”

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes Intimate

Diane: Do you know the difference between you and a fat, braying ass?
Sam: Nope.
Diane: The fat, braying ass would.

Shelley Long

(1949 – ) American actress

Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It also gives me the right, no, the duty, to make a complete ass of myself.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

TV/Movie Quotes

Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.