Author: Doug Larson

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.


(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Friends People

Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country could do under first-class management.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Democracy Government

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Time

Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Work

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Government Politicians

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Failure Friends Old People Success

The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
People

An alibi is a reason with a bad reputation.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Characteristics Honesty

Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Intelligence Situations Wisdom

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Science/Weather

The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Education Life

Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Past Time

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Age Food/Drink Life Old

People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Age Life Old

What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Life

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Age Fools Intelligence Old Young

The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Animals Cats

Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept. 

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Hockey Sports

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Autos Things

To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Characteristics Honesty Mistakes Problems

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Activities Life Sports