Subject: Activities (Page 29)

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Driving Men People Women

If you're too busy to go fishin', you're too busy.

(1908 – 2003) American actor & dancer
Activities TV/Movie Quotes

You know it’s time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Housework Work

Angler: A man who spends rainy days sitting around on the muddy banks of rivers doing nothing because his wife won’t let him do it at home.

Activities Definitions

In America there are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Activities America Places Travel

Let crack and heroin be manufactured by the pharmaceutical companies, that way nobody can afford them.

American comedian & writer
Activities Drugs

In 1903 the Wright brothers invented airplanes, because in 1902 they took a road trip across the country with their family.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Activities Family Travel

I used to do drugs; I still do, but I used to, too.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities Drugs Past

I didn’t intend for this to take on a political tone; I’m just here for the drugs.

(1921 – ) former First Lady of the United States & actress
Drugs Misspokements

I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout; that's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.

(1956 – 2016) American stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Drugs Exercise Money

Grocery list: What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Activities Definitions Shopping

Laurie got offended that I used the word “puke” … but to me, that’s what her dinner tasted like.

Activities

I like parades without missiles in them; I'll take Bullwinkle to a tank any day.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
Activities

A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by mother, who sees that the others get it.

writer
Activities Family Mothers

I think Foosball© is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities

Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities People Sex

I try to keep fit; I’ve got these parallel bars at home… I run at them and try to buy a drink from both of them.

(1954 – ) English comedian writer
Activities Alcohol Exercise Food/Drink

I’ve read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Communication Reading/Writing Shopping

The most used appliance in our house is my 10-year-old son Leon's Xbox.

(1957 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Activities Things

At a bargain sale, the only suit or dress that you like best and that fits you is the one not in the sale.

Activities Clothing Murphy’s Laws Shopping

Excuse the mess but we live here.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Activities Housework