Subject: Activities (Page 35)

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Activities Sex

I went to a massage parlor; it was self service.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Sex

Bargain: anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Money Shopping

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.


Situations Sleep

Under an assumed name.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist
Activities

I liked Amsterdam… I spent $2,000 window shopping.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Places Sex Shopping

Without drugs, I would have never got my job… selling drugs.


Activities Drugs Occupations Work

Vacation: Two weeks on the sunny sands – and the rest of the year on the financial rocks.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Activities Money Places Time

Childish Games: Those at which your wife beats you.

Activities Definitions Games

A man seldom knows what he can do until he tries to undo what he did.

(1881 – 1973) Spanish painter, sculptor, printmaker & stage designer
Activities

Do I lift weights? … Sure, every time I stand up.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Activities Appearance Body

Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Activities Sex Situations

Bridge is a friendly game invented by two married couples who disliked each other.

Activities Games

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Activities Housework

If you need n items of anything, you will have n – 1 in stock.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping Things

If these walls could talk they’d be like ‘damn bitch, you’re back in bed again!?

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian, actress & writer
Activities Characteristics

One time, I got pulled over at four a.m.; I was fined seventy-five dollars for being intoxicated and four-hundred for being with the Phillies.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Driving Sports

I certainly do not drink all the time, I have to sleep you know.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Situations Sleep

Strip Poker: A game in which the more you lose the more you have to show for it.

Activities Definitions

Checkers taught me that a King is a man with another man on top of him, but life taught me that that's actually called a Queen.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Games

You don’t get spoiled if you do your own ironing.

(1949 – ) American actress
Activities Housework