Subject: Animals » Dogs

Don't get mixed up between Pavlov and Pavlova, or you'll have salivating ballerinas and pirouetting dogs.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Animals Dogs

He that lies down with dogs, shall rise up with fleas.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Animals Dogs Relationships

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Dogs

My dog was my soul mate; we both took naps, we both skipped lunch, we both hated the vacuum.

(1952 – ) comedian
Animals Dogs

I’m fond of pigs… dogs look up to us… cats look down on us… pigs treat us as equal.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Animals Cats Dogs

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Animals Dogs

I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Dogs

Free Puppies: part German shepherd, part stupid dog.

Animals Classifieds Dogs

A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger; my first thought was to rescue two more, but I don’t want to go through menopause again.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Dogs Old

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Animals Beliefs Dogs

Not only is life a bitch, it has puppies.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker
Animals Dogs Life Situations

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Animals Dogs Emotions Love

Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Animals Dogs

A lot of rich women seeing how small they can get their dogs.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Dogs Places Women

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? … it’s hardly ever for them.

(1964 – ) English comedian, author & television presenter
Animals Dogs

The nose of the bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Animals Dogs

Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Animals Dogs

It’s the only state in the country where you can stand on your front porch and actually watch your dog run away for three days.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
America Animals Dogs Places

The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother… they’ll settle for a puppy every time.

Animals Dogs

Dogs are like penises… I enjoy my own, but I don't want to be touched by anyone else's.

American comedian
Animals Dogs

You might be a redneck if… you ever named a child after a dog.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Children Dogs Family People Rednecks