Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 15)

I have a million dollar figure… buts it’s all loose change.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body

Liposuction: A surgical procedure from which the patient emerges significantly lighter in both pounds and dollars.

Appearance Body Definitions Health

I tan the easy way… I just wait for my liver spots to connect.

(1951 – ) American author, playwright & lyricist
Appearance Body

I hate thin people; “Oh, does the tampon make me look fat?”

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Fat

There is an obesity epidemic; one out of every three Americans… weighs as much as the other two.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body

I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Dating Hair

She is so short… you can see her feet on her driver's license picture.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

If I weren’t earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people in the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Appearance Body Fear

She’s so fat it takes two dogs to bark at her.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

When I die, I’m leaving my body to science fiction.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Death People Self

My face looks like a wedding cake left out in the rain.


(1907 – 1973) poet & critic
Appearance Body People Self

He’s so skinny, his pants had only one back pocket.

Appearance Body Expressions

He was a man of great statue.

Appearance Body Malaprops

She’s like a phenomenon of nature, like Niagara Falls or the Grand Canyon; you can’t talk to it, it can’t talk to you, all you can do is stand back and be awed by it.

(1897 – 1977) American filmwriter, producer & director
Appearance Body

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Appearance Body Fat People Women

She is so fat… she broke the family tree.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Muscles come and go; flab lasts.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Appearance Body Fat

I want to get a tattoo of myself on my entire body only 2” taller.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body

He looks like a bag of antlers.

Appearance Body Expressions

Never try to guess your wife's size. Just buy her anything marked ‘petite’ and hold on to the receipt.

Appearance Body Clothing Murphy’s Laws Shopping

She is so fat… her favorite meal is seconds.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat