Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 18)

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Appearance Body Fat People Women

He is so fat… when he ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Appearance Body Fat Government Law

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Appearance Body Clothing Old

You might be a redneck if… you see a sign that says "Say No To Crack" and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Body Drugs People Rednecks

This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit-of-The-Loom guys laughing at me.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Clothing

She's tall enough to go duck huntin' with a rake.

Appearance Body Expressions

He looked like something that had gotten loose from Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

(1888 – 1964) comedian & actor
Appearance Body Insults

Dirty blonde … I made myself platinum, but I was born a dirty blonde.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body Success

He's as big as a gorilla and as strong as a gorilla; if he was as smart as a gorilla he'd be fine.

college football coach
Animals Appearance Body Insults Intelligence

If Bill Gates is worth $30 billion then a good haircut must cost $31 billion.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Appearance Body Money

She is so fat… her favorite meal is seconds.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.

(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian
Age Appearance Body Old

My body is dropping so fast, my gynecologist wears a hard hat.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Body Doctors Old

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Body Women

He's a trellis for varicose veins.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Appearance Body Insults

For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body People Self

She’s a tall drink of water.

Appearance Body Expressions

You can say what you like about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body Clothing

I want to get a tattoo of myself on my entire body only 2” taller.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body

Diana Rigg is built like a brick mausoleum with insufficient flying buttresses.

(1925 – ) American author and literary, theater & film critic
Appearance Body