Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 6)

I don’t plan to grow old gracefully; I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Age Appearance Body Old

Man that guy is ripped! I mean, I've got the washboard stomach, too. It's just that mine has about two months of laundry on top of it.

Canadian hockey player
Appearance Body Hockey Sports

High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
Appearance Body Clothing Women

I’ve throwed away chicken bones with more meat on it than he’s got.

(1902 – 1973) American actress
Appearance Body

She was so tall if she fell down she would be halfway home.

Appearance Body Expressions

1. Fat expands to fill any apparel worn.
2. A fat person walks in the middle of the hall.

Appearance Body Fat Murphy’s Laws

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Body Ugly

I was getting dressed and a peeping Tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Body Old

You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body Girls Women

I was so ugly that my parents sent my picture to Ripley’s Believe It or Not: they sent it back and said, “We don’t believe it.”

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Ugly

I'm so physically deficient that the act of sleep injures me.

(1978 – ) American comic writer
Appearance Body

I knew I was going bald when it was taking longer and longer to wash my face.

(1964 – ) English comedian, author & television presenter
Appearance Body Hair

You might be a redneck if… the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Marriage People Rednecks Wives

Professional model: cheekbones that sell cosmetics; hipbones that sell anorexia.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Appearance Body Definitions

Ache: Joint concern.

Body Definitions

The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes; then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Appearance Body Men People Women

I’ve seen some players with very big feet, and some with very small feet.

English football player, manager & sports commentator
Appearance Body

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf.

Appearance Body Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others; he gave me one with four cavities.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Health

He is so fat… when he gets his shoes shined he has to take the man's word for it.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Skeleton: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

Body Definitions