Subject: Appearance » Clothing (Page 11)

I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was, I said, 'Actual' … I'm not to scale.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing Situations

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Clothing Things

Do you guys think it’s worse to wear a Fedora or kill 15 people?

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian, actress & writer
Appearance Clothing

An ounce of sequins can be worth a pound of home cooking.

(1946 – ) American magazine columnist, author, lecturer & playwright
Appearance Body Clothing Fat

The robe is a lazy man's tuxedo.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Clothing

A bikini is like a barbed-wire fence… it protects the property without obstructing the view.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Appearance Body Clothing

The guy that designed girls’ volleyball uniforms definitely never had daughters.

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
Appearance Clothing Sports

You know how embarrassing it is to walk with a girl on a first date and see somebody with the same shirt as you on – and they homeless?

American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing Dating Relationships

She's not wearing enough clothes to flag a hand car.

Appearance Clothing Expressions

Nothing wise was ever printed upon an apron.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing Intelligence Wisdom

Dressing a baby is like putting an octopus into a string bag, making sure none of the arms hang out.

(1951 – ) British writer
Appearance Children Clothing Family Situations

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee; unfortunately, she was just coming home.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Clothing Sex Wives

Never in the history of fashion has so little material been raised so high to reveal so much that needs to be covered so badly.

(1904 – 1980) English photographer, interior, stage & costume designer
Appearance Clothing

I’m still trying to understand the wearing of high heels at the airport.

(1969 – ) American comedian & actor
Appearance Clothing

But he was the worst dresser in organized baseball; he made Inspector Clouseau look like a candidate for Mr. Blackwell's list of best-dressed men.

American baseball pitcher
Appearance Basketball Clothing Sports

She was a large woman who seemed not so much dressed as upholstered.

(1860 – 1937) Scottish author, dramatist (creator of Peter Pan)
Appearance Body Clothing Insults

Necktie: A decorative noose worn by businessmen.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Clothing Definitions

The only person who ever left the Iron Curtain wearing it.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Clothing Insults

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Appearance Clothing Education People

There is nothing so unbecoming on the beach as a wet kilt.

Appearance Clothing

The only reason she made it to the top was because her clothes didn't.

Appearance Body Clothing Success