Subject: Appearance » Clothing (Page 11)

Living up to ideals is like doing everyday work with your Sunday clothes on.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Appearance Clothing Life Work

Your dresses should be tight enough to show you're a woman and loose enough to show you're a lady.

(1898 – 1981) American costume designer
Appearance Body Clothing Women

Necktie: A decorative noose worn by businessmen.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Clothing Definitions

She has a wash and wear bridal gown.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Appearance Clothing Marriage

The (orange) uniforms were already picked out by the time I got here. I didn't give it too much thought until I saw our buses and I said, `My God, we're dressed just like that bus.'

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Appearance Clothing Football Sports

Jeans: Lower half of the international uniform of youth.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

Clothing Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

I washed my edible underwear and now they're gone.


Appearance Clothing

An ounce of sequins can be worth a pound of home cooking.

(1946 – ) American magazine columnist, author, lecturer & playwright
Appearance Body Clothing Fat

Do you guys think it’s worse to wear a Fedora or kill 15 people?

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian, actress & writer
Appearance Clothing

I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory… an empty gin bottle.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Appearance Children Clothing Family

The longer I practice medicine the more convinced I am there are only two types of cases: those that involve taking the trousers off and those that don’t.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Clothing Doctors Health

I angered the clerk in a clothing shop today; she asked me what size I was and I said actual, because I am not to scale.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing People Self

A wino asked me for change… I gave him my shirt.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Clothing Money

Arabs wear turbines on their heads.

Clothing Malaprops

To attract the most attention, a woman should be either nude or wearing something as expensive as getting her nude is going to be.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Appearance Clothing

A lady is one who never shows her underwear… unintentionally.

(1893 – 1991) novelist, biographer & playwright
Appearance Characteristics Clothing

An income tax form is like a laundry list – either way you lose your shirt.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Clothing Government Taxes

A gentleman never strikes a lady with his hat on.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Clothing Men People Women

At a bargain sale, the only suit or dress that you like best and that fits you is the one not in the sale.

Activities Clothing Murphy’s Laws Shopping

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Appearance Clothing