Subject: Appearance » Fat (Page 2)

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws… only catapults.

(1973 – ) American comedian

He must have had a magnificent build before his stomach went in for a career of its own.

(1910 – 1997) American writer

As a matter of fact, I'm glad my skin is dark, because if I was a white girl, I would look 10 pounds heavier.

(1971 – ) American comedian & actress

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out; but I can usually shut her up with cookies.

singer & musician

She is so fat… she broke the family tree.

I don’t know why I should even bother to eat this. I should just apply it directly to my hips.

(1939 – ) American actress

You know you're getting fat when you go to unbutton the top of your pants – and you already did it.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author

Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Alfred Hitchcock: One look at you and I know there's famine in the land.

Shaw’s reply: One look at you, Mr. Hitchcock, and I know who caused it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

I was never over-weight, just under-tall; the correct height for my weight at the moment is seven feet ten and a half inches.

(1951 – ) Irish comedian & singer

If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist

You know you’re getting fat when your socks don’t fit.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor

I burned 60 calories… that should take care of the peanut I ate in 1962.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

If you can’t tell the difference between a spoon and a ladle, then you’re fat.

(1973 – ) American comedian

He is so fat… when he gets in an elevator, it has to go down.

An optimist is a girl who mistakes a bulge for a curve.

(1885 – 1933) columnist & writer

You know your girlfriend is getting fat when she can fit into your wife's clothes.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian

Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

She is so fat… when she was a kid she could only play seek.

Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

He is so fat… he can't even jump to a conclusion.