Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Characteristics
(Page 16)
Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to account for the curious attraction of others.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics
People
Myth
Wickedness
Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Don Marquis
(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Characteristics
People
World
Meek
Pity
I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
Garrison Keillor
(1942 – ) humorist & radio broadcaster
Characteristics
Intelligence
Situations
Denial
Reality
People who have no weaknesses are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them.
Anatole France
(1844 – 1924) French novelist
Characteristics
People
Weaknesses
If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.
Anton Chekhov
(1860 – 1904) Russian short-story writer, playwright & physician
Characteristics
Fear
Marriage
Situations
Loneliness
Only a mediocre person is always at his best.
W. Somerset Maugham
(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Characteristics
Mediocrity
Callous: Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Definitions
Callous
The meek shall inherit the earth, but not the mineral rights.
J. Paul Getty
(1892 – 1976) oil industrialist (once world’s richest man)
Characteristics
Money
Meek
Mineral rights
There are two kinds of truth: there are real truths, and there are made up truths.
Marion Barry Jr.
(1936 – ) American politician, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
Characteristics
Honesty
Lies
Truth
On his arrest for drug use
All your friends are gonna be green with
envious.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Characteristics
Misspokements
Green with envy
Everybody lies; but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
Lieberman's Law
Characteristics
Communication
Honesty
Lies
Murphy’s Laws
Listening
Graceland is so tacky, Puerto Rican people walk out of there going, 'That's some tacky stuff there, man.'
Vic Henley
American comedian & author
Characteristics
Places
Graceland
Puerto Ricans
Tacky
Very sorry can't come; lie follows by post.
Lord Charles Beresford
(1846 – 1919) British Admiral & member of Parliament
Characteristics
Honesty
Lies
In a telegram refusing a dinner invitation
If you are flattering a woman, it pays to be a little more subtle; you don’t have to bother with men, they believe any compliment automatically.
Alan Ayckbourn
(1939 – ) English playwright
Characteristics
Men
People
Women
Flattery
Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.
(Sam) Brown's Law
Characteristics
Murphy’s Laws
People
Offending
Deep down, I'm pretty superficial.
Ava Gardner
(1922 – 1990) American actress
Characteristics
Misspokements
If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve.
Ashleigh Brilliant
(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Beliefs
Characteristics
Opinion
There is a good deal to be said for blushing, if one can do it at the proper moment.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics
Emotions
Blushing
He was a very
immortal
person.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Malaprops
Immorality
Reputation is character minus what you’ve been caught doing.
Michael Iapoce
American comedian, writer, consultant & author
Characteristics
From “Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Boardroom”
Reputation
A thick skin is a gift from God.
Konrad Adenauer
(1876 – 1967) German statesman
Characteristics
God
Thick skin
Page 16 of 50
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