Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Characteristics
(Page 31)
Too much of a good thing is wonderful.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics
Good
Wonderful
I came from a real tough neighborhood; I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
Rodney Dangerfield
(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics
Places
Hands
Neighborhood
Truth is stranger than fiction; fiction has to make sense.
Leo Rosten
(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Characteristics
Communication
Honesty
Truth
Fiction
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return; it's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
Arthur C. Clarke
(1917 – ) English physicist & science fiction author
Characteristics
Honesty
Money
Bathroom scale
A skeptic is a person who would ask God for his ID card.
Edgar A. Shoaff
Characteristics
God
Skeptics
I felt as out of place as a left-handed violinist in a crowded string section.
Charles 'Chic' Murray
(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Characteristics
Situations
Left-handed
Out of place
Violins
Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well.
Samuel Butler
(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Characteristics
Honesty
Lies
Truth
Don't look back; something may be gaining on you.
Satchel Paige
(1906 – 1982) baseball player
Characteristics
Regret
You gotta be a man to play baseball for a living, but you gotta have a lot of little boy in you.
Roy Campanella
American baseball player
Baseball
Characteristics
Sports
The search for someone to blame is always successful.
Robert Half
businessman
Characteristics
Relationships
Success
Blame
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves into a position of power should on no account be allowed to do the job.
Douglas Adams
(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Characteristics
Government
People
Work
Influence
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
(1884 – 1962) diplomat & reformer & first lady
Characteristics
People
Self
It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull.
H.L. Mencken
(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics
People
Bores
In 1969 I published a small book on Humility; it was a pioneering work which has not, to my knowledge, been superseded.
Francis Pakenham (Lord Longford)
Characteristics
Humility
A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.
Don Marquis
(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Characteristics
Optimism
Pessimism
The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.
Robert Heinlein
(1907 – 1988) science fiction author
Characteristics
Death
Life
Irony
There is no substitute for good manners… except, perhaps, fast reflexes.
Scott's Second Law of Parties
Characteristics
Murphy’s Laws
Behavior
Manners
Reflexes
That dog was so lazy he leaned against a fence to bark.
Anonymous
Animals
Characteristics
Dogs
Expressions
The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him; in no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.
P.G. Wodehouse
(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics
Golf
Sports
Good behavior is the last refuge of mediocrity.
Henry S. Haskins
(1875 – 1957) stockbroker & man of letters
Characteristics
Good behavior
Most people’s self-esteem isn't low enough.
Howard Ogden
Characteristics
Self-esteem
Page 31 of 50
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