Subject: Characteristics (Page 36)

She looked at me like a cow looking at a new gate.

Appearance Characteristics Expressions Intelligence

The proud man can learn humility, but he will be proud of it.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Characteristics

I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics Entertainment

These days, the only time politicians tell the truth is when they call each other a liar.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Honesty Lies Politicians Truth

You can pick out the actors by the glazed look that comes into their eyes when the conversation wanders away from themselves.

(1912 – 1979) English actor
Acting Characteristics Entertainment

Being powerful is like being a lady; if you have to tell people you are, you aren't.

(1925 – 2013) British prime minister & politician
Characteristics Communication

You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty.

(1885 – 1957) French stage actor, film actor, director, screenwriter & playwright
Characteristics

If you can’t annoy somebody with what you write, I think there’s little point in writing.

(1922 – 1995) English novelist & poet
Characteristics Communication Reading/Writing

Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.

(1932 – 2017) comedian, social activist, critic & writer
Anger Beliefs Characteristics

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Characteristics Intelligence Stupidity

Men have as exaggerated an idea of their rights as women have of their wrongs.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Characteristics Men People Women

Once we were whining losers, but now we’re arrogant winners.

Buffalo Bills public relations man
Characteristics Misspokements Sports

My boyfriend's kids are half-Swedish, half-Norwegian: "They're see-through."

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Characteristics People Places

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Characteristics

I know how to do anything — I’m a mom.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Characteristics Family Mothers

I have such poor vision I can date anybody.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Appearance Body Characteristics People

If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

Characteristics

Most people are so lazy, they don't even exercise good judgement!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Exercise Work

How long is it polite to pretend to continue to listen to someone after they’ve revealed they’ve got a boyfriend?

(1975 – ) English comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics Communication

At any particular time, there are more horse's asses in the world than horses.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws People

I’m a colored, one-eyed Jew – do I need anything else?

(1925 – 1990) American entertainer
Characteristics