Subject: Characteristics (Page 9)

McKinley has a chocolate eclair backbone.

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president
Characteristics Insults

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics Situations

I never trust a man unless I've got his pecker in my pocket.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Characteristics Opinion

I consider sex a misdemeanor, the more I miss, de meaner I get.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics Sex

A gentleman never swears at his wife when ladies are present.

Characteristics Men People

Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Characteristics

Tis more blessed to give than to receive; for example, wedding presents.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics

He would kill his own mother just so that he could use her skin to make a drum to beat his own praises.

(1864 –1945) Anglo-Scottish socialite, author & wit
Characteristics Insults Mothers

I never exaggerate; you can ask Tipper or any one of our 11 daughters.

(1948 – ) U.S. vice president & politician, author & environmentalist
Characteristics Communication

Culture is what your butcher would have if he were a surgeon.

author
Characteristics

Be moderate in all things, including moderation.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics

There are three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies and statistics.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Characteristics Communication Honesty Lies

You are not being diplomatic just because you put please in front of “Shut the hell up.”

Characteristics Situations

Misery no longer loves company; nowadays it insists on it.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Characteristics Emotions

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

(1964 – ) comedian, political satirist, writer & television host
Beliefs Characteristics Religion

I was such a nerd in high school, I didn't even have imaginary friends, I had imaginary bullies.

(1966 – ) American actor, musician & comedian
Characteristics People Self

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Characteristics Hollywood Places Time

Optimist: Day-dreamer more elegantly spelled.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics People

Our strength is often composed of the weakness that we're damned if we are going to show.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Characteristics

Be normal, and the crowd will accept you… be deranged, and they will make you their leader.

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
Characteristics People

Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Characteristics