Subject: Communication (Page 23)

When a man says he had pleasure with a woman he does not mean conversation.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Conversation Men People Sex Women

She's just trying to make sure Anthony gets a good meal… Antonio.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Communication

I think they named the orange before the carrot.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication

Holy deadlock.

(1890 – 1971) English humorist, novelist & playwright
Marriage Wordplay

Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

(1948 – ) American cartoonist (Doonesbury)
Communication School Speech

He makes his living from ham to mouth.

(1836 – 1911) English dramatist, librettist, poet & illustrator
Communication Reading/Writing Wordplay

A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.

(1914 – 1953) Welsh-born poet & writer
Communication Reading/Writing

If I look confused it is because I am thinking.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Appearance Intelligence Misspokements Speech Thinking

Clichés: Fixtures of speech.

Definitions Language

You say ‘erbs, and we say Herbs… because there’s a f**king ‘H’ in it!

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Language

There’s nothing to fear but life itself.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions Fear Wordplay

Yodeling: Slope opera.

Definitions Wordplay

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication England People Places Speech

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Law People Speech

The chickens have come home to roast.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Malaprops Wordplay

Even those who call Mr. Faulkner our greatest literary sadist do not fully appreciate him, for it is not merely his characters who have to run the gauntlet but also his readers.

(1904 – 1999) author, editor, radio host
Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say 'No' in any of them.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Insults Intelligence Sex

The play was a great success, but the audience was a disaster.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication Entertainment Reviews/Criticism

If you don't write to complain, you'll never receive your order. If you do write, you'll receive the merchandise before your angry letter reaches its destination.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing Shopping

Too often, people who want to offer sound advice give more sound than advice!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Intelligence Speech