Subject: Communication (Page 23)

I have an idea that the phrase ‘weaker sex’ was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Language Men People Women

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Characteristics Communication Money

Cat: A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Cats Communication Definitions Language

Harpist: A plucky musician.

Definitions Entertainment Music Wordplay

Having to read a footnote resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Books Communication Reading/Writing Sex

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us worthy evidence of the fact.

Mary Anne Evans (1819 – 1880) English novelist, journalist & translator
Communication People Speech

Madness takes its toll; please have exact change.

Communication Language Proverbs

You know who really gives kids a bad name? … Posh and Becks.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Children Communication Wordplay

Telephone: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Things

Plagiarism is the highest form of art just as theft is the highest form of commerce.

(1967 – ) English comedian
Communication

Interpreter: A ventriloquist using two dummies.

Communication Definitions Language

Philanthropist: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Wealth

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Communication TV/Movie Quotes Wordplay

If God had written the Bible, the first line should have been 'It's round.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Books Communication

All really grim gardeners possess a keen sense of humus.

(1898 – 1951) Scottish humorist
Activities Wordplay

On the other hand… you have different fingers.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Body Communication Language

You’ve got to give the guy some slack… he’s caught between Iraq and a hard-on.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Situations Wordplay

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Language Money

Does it disturb anyone else that “The Los Angeles Angels” baseball team translates directly to “The The Angels Angels”?

(1958 – ) American astrophysicist, cosmologist, author & science communicator
Communication

My piñata costume was a hit with the crowd

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while the article is still on the presses.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
America Communication Reading/Writing