Subject: Communication (Page 7)

There are two professions that one can be hired with little experience: one is prostitution, the other is sportscasting, and too frequently, they become the same.

(1918 – 1995) American sports journalist & television commentator
Communication

How is it possible to have a civil war?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Conflict War Wordplay

I have Bright's Disease… and he has mine.

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Health Wordplay

Crude is the name of Robert Hyde’s first novel; it is also a criticism of it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Books Communication Reviews/Criticism

I wish my first spoken word was 'Quote' so I could make my last word 'Unquote'.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech

A neurotic can perfectly well be a literary genius, but his greatest danger is always that he will not recognize when he is dull.

(1917 – 2010) American lawyer, novelist, historian & essayist
Characteristics Communication Reading/Writing

I think one of the most groundbreaking inventions of all time is the jackhammer.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language Things

… my last will and tentacle…

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Communication

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication Language

The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less time you have to do anything. Stability is achieved when you spend all your time doing nothing but reporting on the nothing you are doing.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Communication Intelligence Understanding

My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, “Pick up, I know you’re there.”

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Children Communication Family

Alphabet: A toy for children found in books, blocks, pictures, and some soup.

Communication Definitions Language

Medical Insurance: What allows people to be ill at ease.

Wordplay

An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Books Communication Reading/Writing

I don’t have any children but if I had a baby I would have to name it so I’d buy a “baby naming book” … or I would invite somebody over who had a cast on.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Books Children Family

There are three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies and statistics.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Characteristics Communication Honesty Lies

The politician is an acrobat; he keeps his balance by doing the opposite of what he says.

(1862 – 1923) French writer & politician
Communication Government Politicians

Interesting: A word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

Communication Definitions Speech

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Congress Government Politicians Speech Time

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men, and I just want to say to the authors of that study "Duh."

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Communication Language Men People Women