Subject: Communication (Page 7)

I shouldn’t say bad things about the illiterate, though… I should write it.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Communication Reading/Writing

My boss told me to get my butt in gear… I told him I was shiftless.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Communication Language Work

If Attila the Hun were alive today, he'd be a drama critic.

(1928 – ) playwright
Communication Entertainment Reading/Writing

Giraffe: The highest form of animal life.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

None but the dead have free speech.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Speech

I have Bright's Disease… and he has mine.

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Health Wordplay

My handwriting looks as if a swarm of ants, escaping from an ink bottle, had walked over a sheet of paper without wiping their legs.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Communication People Reading/Writing Self

No one gossips about other people's secret virtues.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Communication Speech

Kids say the darndest things.

(1912 – 2010) Canadian-born American radio & television personality & humorist
Children Family Speech

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Sex Wordplay

Silence is foolish if we are wise, but wise if we are foolish.

(1780 – 1832) English cleric, writer & collector
Communication Speech

The only man, woman, or child who ever wrote a simple declarative sentence with seven grammatical errors is dead.

(1894 – 1962) American poet, painter, essayist, author & playwright
Communication Insults Language Reading/Writing

My dad suggested I register for a donor card; he’s a man after my own heart.


Communication Wordplay

Never believe anything until it's been officially denied.

Beliefs Communication

If you write the word "monkey" a million times, do you start to think you're
 Shakespeare?


Communication Reading/Writing

If I had my life to live over, I’d live it over a deli.

(1926 – 2009) comedian, actor, radio – TV personality & host
Life Wordplay

What Iran needs now is a more modern leader – a mullah lite.

(1973 – ) Iranian-born British comedian
Government Places Wordplay

How long is it polite to pretend to continue to listen to someone after they’ve revealed they’ve got a boyfriend?

(1975 – ) English comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics Communication

A metaphor is like a simile.


Communication Language

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Communication Husbands Marriage Speech Time Wives

A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Intelligence Reading/Writing