Subject: Communication (Page 8)

One of the greatest creations of the human mind is the art of reviewing books without having read them.

(1742 – 1799) German writer
Books Communication Reading/Writing

I like what mechanics wear… overall.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Clothing Communication Language

Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.

Communication Insults Murphy’s Laws

This bloke said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar;’ I said: ‘Is that a fret?’

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together; it was riveting.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

If that kid don't stop talkin' so much he'll get his tongue sunburned.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Speech TV/Movie Quotes

I don’t have any children but if I had a baby I would have to name it so I’d buy a “baby naming book” … or I would invite somebody over who had a cast on.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Books Children Family

Everybody had some antidotes to tell.

Malaprops Speech

I am told that I talk in shorthand and then smudge it.

(1892 – 1973) English writer
Communication Speech

I didn’t really say everything I said.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Communication Speech Yogi-isms

It was a book to kill time for those who like it better dead.

(1881 – 1958) English novelist
Books Communication Reviews/Criticism

My neighbors don’t like it when I talk to my plants… I use a megaphone.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech

Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Wordplay

In the back of Hughes' mind must be the thought that he will dance down the piss and mitch one.


Sports Wordplay

The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels; I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Books Insults Reviews/Criticism

I hate going to funerals because I’m not a mourning person.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Communication Death Wordplay

When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste; when I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Communication Wordplay

Ninety-two percent of the stuff told you in confidence you couldn't get anyone else to listen to.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Communication Conversation Speech

Adultery is the application of democracy to love.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Love Marriage Sex

What happened to the first 6 “ups?”

Communication Food/Drink Language

Let’s bring it up to date with some snappy nineteenth century dialogue.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Communication Misspokements Speech