Subject: Communication » Speech (Page 15)

‘Son, I don’t think you’re cut out to be a mime.’ ‘Was it something I said?’ asks the son. ‘Yes.’

(Daniel Barker) British comedian, voice-artist & actor

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

As our President said in his renegurial address.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

A dying man enjoys free speech.

(1431 – 1463) French rogue, vagabond, outlaw, bohemian & poet

It sounds like typewriters eating tin foil being kicked down the stairs.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer

I never give the public hell; I just tell the truth and they think it is hell.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president

I will be so brief I have already finished.

(1904 – 1989) Spanish surrealist painter

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut.

(1882 – 1961) politician

Ninety-two percent of the stuff told you in confidence you couldn't get anyone else to listen to.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk; that will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

(1899 – 1961) author & journalist

I never mind my wife having the last word; in fact, I’m delighted when she gets to it.

(1920 – 2000) American actor

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.


My job is to talk to you, and your job is to listen; if you finish first, please let me know.

(1885 –1974) American cartoonist, humor writer & radio personality

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist

It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician

The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds the other fellow of a dull one.

(1922 – 2014) American comic actor & writer

I was going to join the debating team, but somebody talked me out of it.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

Women don't want to hear what you think; women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor

It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

Groan: An expression of appreciation for the horrible.