Subject: Definitions (Page 14)

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Farm: What a city man dreams of at 5 p.m…. never at 5 a.m.

Definitions

An editor is someone who separates the wheat from the chaff and then prints the chaff.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Communication Definitions Occupations

Eulogy: Praise that’s too much and too late.

Death Definitions

Glutton: A person who takes the piece of French pastry you wanted.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink People

Average Man: A person who doesn’t want much, and usually gets a little less than that.

Definitions People

Apex: A gorilla’s old girlfriend.

Definitions Wordplay

Jury: A group of 12 people, who, having lied to the judge about their health, hearing, and business engagements, have failed to fool him.

Definitions

Xylophone: Small toy musical instrument often given as gifts to children who show their appreciation by playing the stupid thing constantly, over and over, all day long; see also "drums."

Definitions Entertainment Music

Jury: A body of twelve men selected to decide which of the contestants has the better lawyer.

Definitions Government Law Lawyers

Infant Prodigies: Young people with highly imaginative parents.

Children Definitions Family

Argument: A discussion where two people try to get the last word in first

Definitions

Gold Digger: A fund-loving girl.

Definitions

Depression: A period during which we have to get along without the things our grandparents never dreamed of.

Definitions Money Past Time

Procrastination: The art of keeping up with yesterday.

Definitions

Freelance: To collect unemployment.

Definitions Work

Florida: God's waiting room.

Definitions Places

Candidate: A person who asks for money from the wealthy and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

Sinker: Lead weight attached to the end of a length of fishing line to facilitate the speedy disposal of unwanted lures.

Activities Definitions Things

Husband: A polygamous animal in a monogamous strait-jacket.

Definitions Marriage

Conscience: A device that doesn’t keep you from doing anything – just keeps you from enjoying it.

Definitions

Respirator: An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth… whereby to filter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Things