Subject: Definitions (Page 17)

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Good Old Days: A block of time which ended a week before you were hired.

Definitions Past Time Work

Husband: A polygamous animal in a monogamous strait-jacket.

Definitions Marriage

Summer camp is where the parents spend a thousand dollars so their daughter can learn to make a fifty-cent potholder.

Definitions Places

Courtship: A period during which a girl decides whether or not she can do better.

Definitions Relationships

Diet: selection of foods for people who are thick and tired of it.

Definitions Food/Drink

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, in addition to when it is removed.

Cooking Definitions

Educated Man: One who has finally discovered that there are some questions to which nobody has the answers.

Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

Pessimist: Someone who burns their bridges before they get to them.

Definitions

Nun: A creature of habit.

Definitions Religion

Multitasking: Messing up several chores at the same time.

Activities Definitions

Bliss: Having no idea what is really happening.

Definitions

Television: A means of getting a babysitter so Mom and Dad can get out to the movies.

Definitions Entertainment Television

Tact: The art of saying nothing when there is nothing to say. 

Definitions

Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Time

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Definitions

Dirt: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Definitions

Communism: Nobody’s got nothin’, but everybody’s workin’.

Definitions

Courtship: When a fellow and a girl are always trying to show how smart he is.

Definitions Relationships

Amateur: A person too stupid to profit from the talent they possess.

British writer, cartoonist, poet & performer
Definitions

Parking Meter: An automatic device that bets a dollar to your nickel that you can’t get back before the time runs out.

Definitions Things