Subject: Definitions (Page 47)

View All Definitions

Fiddlesticks: Violin bows.

Definitions

Reoriented: Sent back to China.

Definitions Wordplay

Domestic Harmony: Music produced only if the husband plays second fiddle.

Definitions Marriage

Statistician: One who knows which numbers to use in any eventuality.

Definitions Occupations

Girdle: The difference between fact and figure.

Appearance Body Clothing Definitions

Quickie: No sooner spread than done.

Definitions Sex

Billboards: Litter on a stick.

Definitions

Baby: Morning caller, noonday crawler, midnight bawler.

Children Definitions Family

Father: A guy who is working his child’s way through college.

Definitions Family Fathers

Sabbatical: A Latin word meaning, “I quit, but you won’t know it for certain for a year.”

Definitions

Time: The arbitrary division of eternity.

Definitions Time

Consultant: Someone who borrows your watch then tells you what time it is.

Definitions

Honeymoon Sandwich: Just lettuce alone, with no dressing.

Definitions Marriage

Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offense.

Definitions

Rum: Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Alcohol Definitions

Y Chromosome: The cause of virility, war, baldness, hockey, sex crimes, clever inventions and a disinclination to ask for directions when lost.

Definitions Men

Americans: People with more time-saving devices and less time than any other people in the world.

Definitions People

Good Old Days: A block of time which ended a week before you were hired.

Definitions Past Time Work

Parking Space: An unfilled opening in an unending line of cars near an unapproachable fire hydrant.

Definitions

Bisexual: A person who pays for sex.

Definitions

Carpet: A floor covering that is bought by the yard and worn by the foot.

Definitions