Subject: Definitions (Page 47)

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Abasement: A decent and customary mental attitude in the presence of wealth and power.

Definitions

Diamond: One of the hardest substances known to man – especially the payments on one.

Definitions Things

Genius: One who can do almost anything except make a living.

Definitions Intelligence

Ambassador: An honest man sent to lie abroad for the good of his country.

Definitions

Statistician: Someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

Definitions Occupations Work

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Taxes

Diplomat: A person who can juggle a hot potato long enough for it to become a cold issue.

Definitions

Group Discussion: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Definitions

Abstainer: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

Definitions

Rummage Sale: Where you buy stuff from somebody else’s attic to store in your own.

Activities Definitions Shopping Things

Acupuncture: A jab well done.

Definitions

Diet: A system of starving yourself to death so you can live a little longer.

Definitions Food/Drink

Zoo: A place of refuge where wild animals are protected from people.

Animals Definitions Places

A farm is an irregular patch of nettles bounded by short-term notes, containing a fool and his wife who didn’t know enough to stay in the city.

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Definitions Places Things

Truthful: Dumb and illiterate.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Honesty

Homosexual: A man’s man.

Definitions Men

Delaware: A state that has three counties when the tide is out, and two when it is in.

(1833 – 1900) American politician
Definitions

A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Beliefs Definitions People

Americans: People with more time-saving devices and less time than any other people in the world.

Definitions People

Troops: Expendable bodies sent by the government to stop bullets during obscure foreign uprisings.

Definitions Military

Bureaucrat: A Democrat who holds an office that a Republican wants.

Definitions Government Politicians