Subject: Definitions (Page 5)

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Bank Robber: A guy who gets alarmed easily.

Definitions

Tissue: Your daily nosepaper.

Definitions Wordplay

Impotent: Willy-nilly.

Definitions Sex

Auctioneer: The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

Definitions Occupations

Appendix: A portion of a book, for which nobody yet has discovered any use.

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Good Neighbor: A fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn’t climb it.

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Narcissist: Psychoanalytic term for the person who loves himself more than his analyst.

Definitions People Self

Lemonade Stand: Complicated business venture where Mom buys powdered mix, sugar, lemons, and paper cups, and sets up a table, chairs, pitchers and ice for kids who sit there for three to six minutes and net a profit of fifteen cents.

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Pediatrician: Man of little patients.

Definitions Doctors Health Wordplay

Hindsight: What one experiences from changing too many diapers.

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Executive Ability: The art of getting the credit for all the hard work that somebody else does.

Definitions Work

Statistician: A person who believes that if you put your head in a furnace and your feet in a bucket of iced water, on the average you should feel reasonably comfortable.

Definitions Occupations

Derange: Where de buffalo roam.

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Exhaustion: Sufficient cause for the hospitalization of a celebrity – the normal state of existence for the rest of the working world.

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Clichés: Fixtures of speech.

Definitions Language

Xylophone: Small toy musical instrument often given as gifts to children who show their appreciation by playing the stupid thing constantly, over and over, all day long; see also "drums."

Definitions Entertainment Music

Circus: A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Communication Definitions Fools Language People

Conscience: An inner voice that warns us somebody is watching.

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Fad: A folly committed by enough of the right people to confer upon it the badge of status.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
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Good Neighbor: One who doesn’t borrow his garden hose back too often.

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Parking Space: An unfilled opening in an unending line of cars near an unapproachable fire hydrant.

Definitions