Subject: Definitions (Page 52)

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Author: A writer with connections in the publishing industry.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Occupations Work

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Definitions

Grocery list: What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Activities Definitions Shopping

Stomach: The home of the swallow.

Definitions

Photograph: A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Art Definitions Things

Hangover: The moaning after the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink Health

Desk: A waste basket with drawers.

Definitions Things

Ambidextrous: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.

Definitions Places

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Definitions Marriage

Hypochondriac: One who can’t leave well-enough alone.

Definitions Health

Jury: Twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Definitions Government Law Lawyers

Assembly Line: The notion that if a job is worth doing, it’s worth repeating 9,876 times a day.

Definitions

Connoisseur: A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Intelligence Language

Philanthropist: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Wealth

Belly: The veranda over the toy shop.

Appearance Body Definitions

Tears: A good-bye product.

Definitions

Cat: A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Cats Communication Definitions Language

Gimme: An agreement between two duffer golfers who can’t putt.

Definitions Golf Sports

Diplomat: Someone who can lose all the points and still win the game.

Definitions

Delayed Payment: A tourniquet applied at the pockets.

Definitions Money