Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Definitions
(Page 55)
View All Definitions
Fishing: A venerable contest in which modern man pits his intelligence and technology against the native wit of primitive aquatic vertebrates, and generally finishes second.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Fishing
Falsies: Making mountains out of molehills.
Anonymous
Appearance
Clothing
Definitions
Falsies
Impotent: Willy-nilly.
Anonymous
Definitions
Sex
Impotent
Gourmet: A food fetishist.
Anonymous
Cooking
Definitions
Food/Drink
Occupations
Gourmet
Cynic: A man who sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Definitions
Language
Cynic
Awe: Wow of silence.
Anonymous
Definitions
Awe
Cat: A pygmy lion who loathes mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.
Oliver Herford
(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Animals
Cats
Definitions
Alimony: The fee a woman charges for name-dropping.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Alimony
Electrician: A person who wires for money.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Work
Electrician
Luck: The thing that draws us for jury duty, but never for the lottery.
Anonymous
Definitions
Luck
Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Agreement
Compromise
Accordion Music: Noise that comes from playing both ends against the middle.
Anonymous
Definitions
Entertainment
Music
Accordion Music
Diet: A brief period of starvation followed by a gain of five pounds.
Anonymous
Definitions
Food/Drink
Diet
Bride: A gal who puts her foot down as soon as her new husband has carried her over the threshold.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Wives
Bride
Taxation: The process by which money is collected from the people to pay the salaries of the men who do the collecting.
Anonymous
Definitions
Government
Taxes
Taxation
Definition of a classic: a book everyone is assumed to have read and often thinks they have.
Alan Bennett
English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Books
Communication
Definitions
Reading/Writing
Classics
Sewing Circle: A group of women who needle each other.
Anonymous
Definitions
Friends
Wordplay
Sewing Circle
Sabbatical: A Latin word meaning, “I quit, but you won’t know it for certain for a year.”
Anonymous
Definitions
Sabbatical
Recount: In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions
Elections/Voting
Government
Recount
B Flat: An apiary.
Anonymous
Definitions
Bees
Neurotic: Someone who worries about things that didn’t happen in the past instead of worrying about things that won’t happen in the future.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Neurotic
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