Subject: Definitions (Page 64)

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Flirtation: Paying attention without intention.

Definitions

Executive: A man who talks to visitors so the other employees can get their work done.

Definitions Occupations Work

Obituary: A final summation of our lives that, for most of us, occupies about three inches of space in what will shortly become cage liner for our neighbor’s parakeet.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Death Definitions

Academy Awards: A place where everyone lets off esteem.

Definitions

Waffle: A pancake with a nonskid tread.

Definitions Food/Drink

Director: The one who always faces the music.

Definitions Music

Ambition: Goaled rush.

Definitions

The best definition of an honest politician is one who… when he is bought, stays bought.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Definitions Government Politicians

Spanking: To impress upon the mind from the bottom up.

Definitions

Oaf: An old fashioned jerk.

Definitions People

Middle Age: A time of life when winking at a girl is closing one eye to reality.

Age Definitions

Bore: A person who takes his time taking your time.

Definitions

Historians: People who won’t let bygones be bygones.

Definitions History Occupations Time

Insider trading: Stealing too fast.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Conflict Crime Definitions

Alarm Clock: That which scares the daylight out of you.

Definitions Wordplay

Management: A class of semi-skilled corporate hirelings whose rise within the organization correlates directly with the amount of work they delegate to their more-talented underlings.

Definitions Work

Professor: A person whose job is to tell students how to solve the problems of life he avoided by becoming a professor.

Definitions Education

Jealousy: The tribute mediocrity pays to genius.

Characteristics Definitions

Testosterone: Hormone which causes facial hair, muscularity, a deep voice, speeding tickets, the desire to watch professional wrestling, Arnold Shwarzenegger movies, war, fist fights, and the need to purchase cocktails for women with names like “Boom Boom. ”

Definitions Men

Nurses: Patient people.

Definitions Health Occupations

Self-made Man: A horrible example of unskilled labor.

Definitions