Subject: Education (Page 2)

They put me in Special Ed because they thought I was slow, but I stayed in Special Ed for the ladies.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Education Girls Intelligence School

I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology… the study of milkmen.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Education

If school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Education School Sports

After I failed my second test, I grabbed my teacher by the front of the shirt and said “Are you ‘trying’ to keep this shit a secret?”

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Education School

We are shut up in schools and college recitation rooms for ten or fifteen years, and come out at last with a bellyful of words and do not know a thing.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Education Learning School

If you were forced to read the book in high school, you’ll probably hate the movie too.

Books Education Film Murphy’s Laws School

I paid $120,000 for someone to tell me to read Jane Austen, and then I didn’t.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Education Learning

Learn of the skillful; he that teaches himself, has a fool for his master.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Education Learning

College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.

(1974 – ) American comedian
Education School

You might be a redneck if… you have a bumper sticker that says, "MY MOTHER'S AN HONOR STUDENT AT SOUTH LITTLE ROCK JR. HIGH."

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education Mothers People Rednecks School

Education is when you read the fine print; experience is what you get if you don’t.

(1919 – ) American folk singer
Education

The total attention paid to an instructor is a constant regardless of the size of the class.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

If you can't learn to do it well, you should learn to enjoy doing it badly.

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws Success

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.

Education School

I took a course in speed waiting… now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.


Learning Time

Adolescence is the time in life when a youngster is well informed about anything he doesn’t have to study.

Age Education

Anyone who has passed through the regular gradations of a classical education, and is not made a fool by it, may consider himself as having had a very narrow escape.

(1778 – 1830) English writer, essayist, critic, grammarian & philosopher
Education

If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's practically invulnerable.

Education Insults

Graduate school: The place where a young scholar goes off their parents’ payroll – and on to their spouse’s.

Education School

For every person wishing to teach, there are thirty not wanting to be taught.

(1898 – 1951) Scottish humorist
Education Learning

Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.

college basketball coach
Education School Sports